Date 4th April 2025 It's odd how much this website has helped me over the last 3 years. Nobody really sees it but me and a select group of trusted friends but it's nice to have a space where I can process, think and be free to explore my thoughts in an area that I carved out and created for myself. It's just nice to feel free from the constraints I often feel are imposed to being online. My parents always say to stay professional and polite online and not be too honest. Which

Date: 24th Jan 2023 I was going back through old blog posts and realised I'd unpacked my relationship with Luna countless times but I've never done that for Jack and my key moments of realising he made me feel just as safe as Luna. And he's just as much a part of my healing journey as Luna was (and is), so quite why I never thought to unpack this, I have no idea. Maybe it's because Luna is female identifying and therefore, aligned much closer with the trauma around tutors tha

Date: 22nd Jan 2024 CW for this post, as the title suggests this post talks about self harm and suicidality, nothing graphic mentioned but look after yourself should you read this :) I’m aware this is not a super fun topic to be discussing. But as an aspect of my mental health journey and one that I have touched upon in other posts and in podcast episodes, I kinda wanted to unpack it a bit as I’ve realised years on, it’s more complicated than I initially thought. I don’t bu

Date: 29th Dec 2023 Hullo, I did this around this time last year and actually really loved the idea of making this a yearly segment on my safe, cozy corner of the interweb. Last year I wrote down and reflected on 8 things I learned about (or did) in 2022 that I felt proud of and this year I'm going to do that, alongside a bit of an exciting life update (cos why not?). So, without further ado, here's the 8 things from 2023 I am proud of myself for doing/learning (in whatever f

Date: 19th October 2023 Two days ago I officially handed in my MASc thesis! That sentence still sounds weird to both say and write. Like where has the time gone? I have spent so much time on this blog raving about how incredible my teaching team at UCL have been and honestly, how could I not? Between Jack and Luna, I pretty much had everything I needed in my life (and then some because of my awesome group of friends). This last year has been immeasurably life changing and I s

Date: 29th Sept 2023 I think this is the first time I have maybe ever sat down and actively thought about my future and my plans for said future. I'd never bothered before because I always thought I had no future worth fighting for but times have changed. I'm actually excited to be thinking about what I do want to do in the next 5 years and instead of doing what I normally do on here and ramble about the past (whether that is recent past or distant), I thought I would turn th

Date: 10th June 2023 Dear Jack, when I came up with your fake name, I named you after someone in my family who has been by my side since I was a little girl. Someone who made me feel safe (and still does). Your name represents a wholesome person, someone who is kind, honest, down to earth and has a uniquely calming aura. And that name seemed perfect, because when I think of you, those words and feelings immediately spring to mind. Plus Jack and Luna sound like some kind of aw

Date: 7th June 2023 Dear Luna, if I had all the bravery in the world, here are the things I would want you to know. Some I will send to you, others you may just have to find out if you ever stumble across this website (or I get brave and tell you about it and the fake name I created for you). It's 9 months down the line from when I met you and I still cannot believe I am lucky enough to have called you a tutor, let alone have the possibility of calling you a friend and truste

Date 26th May 2023 There's not many times I truly stop and appreciate just how far I have come since 2017. And honestly if you had told me back then I would be where I am today, I would have likely laughed. I never thought it would be possible for me to have a sturdy group of reliable friends, who like me for who I am. But yet, 6 years on, here I am. I have so many incredible friends in my life. Friends who make me laugh till my sides hurt. Friends who have caught me when my

Date: 31st Dec 2022. Dear reader, as 2022 draws to a close, I want to take some time to reflect on the things I have done this year that I am proud of. From small things, to huge life lessons, there are 8 things/moments that stand out for me and I want to take time to unpick them in a way posting on Twitter won't easily allow. So, here are my 8 moments/things I am proud of from 2022: 1. I'm proud I graduated from The Royal Central School of Speech and Drama with a 1st class d

Date: 8th Dec 2022 Hello my dearest reader, asking for help is super hard for me at the best of times. There's so many reasons behind this, specially when tutors are involved and I wanted to take the time to reflect on some ways I have started to combat my triggers and fears around asking for help with my two lecturers on the MASc course I am currently on. I've mentioned them both in other blogs before, they're incredibly lovely humans who are also tutors and who also terrify

Date: 5th Nov 2022 It's 5 years and 2 months to the day that I started on a college course that would change my world view, change the structure of my brain and my thought pattern, forever. There are so many things I would say to the 16 year old version of me, who is trapped in my worst nightmare for the next 2 years, until she finally breaks free. Her life for the next two years will almost break her, it will destroy things she used to pride herself on, make her feel complet