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Books

Anxiety Poems

Below are a collection of anxiety themed poems. 

Fighting for Control

Fear grows deep within, a seed which my past planted 

For not matter how fierce I may seem, I am not by it enchanted

It’s an illusion, it’s fake, it’s anxiety calling my personal shots 

What I can and cannot do, ain’t up to me, it’s anxiety that joins the dots 

 

Anxiety is controlling, it cuts deep 

Anxiety keeps me awake when I want to sleep 

Anxiety ain’t my friend 

Anxiety drives me round the bend 

 

Pain flares inside my mind, another has gone 

Anxiety has again used me as its pawn 

For I am alone, the silence scares me 

But still anxiety won’t let me be 

 

It’s dark inside, a maze, a mess, unstable 

The outside us it’s labelled 

Weird, weak, scarred monster, unlovable knower

They stare at my weakness exposed, waiting for me to sink lower 

 

My mind says, you should’ve… I’m never good enough 

And when I try  to fight, anxiety builds itself of stronger stuff 

It’s metal,stone, concrete,it’s unbent by my will

I am wool, the breeze battering itself against a rocky hill 

 

Sometimes I win, my mind at last quiet 

Then anxiety inside does riot 

It gathers itself and comes back when I fear it most 

A classroom, a tutors office, inside I am far from the safe coast 

 

In deep waters I drown, silence encasing all around 

My hands, legs and heart are strongly bound 

I’m sinking, falling too fast, danger’s inside 

And I sit there wide and damply eyed 

 

Sometimes I wish my anxiety were gone 

But without it, would I see tomorrows dawn? 

What would life be without anxiety controlling me?
What would life be if I were completely and utterly free? 

 

I can but dream of a time like that 

A time of peace and quiet with no verbal spat 

I will never know a life that is free 

For I know my anxiety will never truly leave me.

Anxiety Attack

World shrinks, closing in, dark 

Colours dull, sounds blur, stark 

Heart pounds, hands shake, fear 

Breath dissipates, hearing gone, veer

 

Thought fog, mind rushes, inert 

Knees weak, tears fall, hurt 

Voices yell, people go, alone 

Body shaking, voice breaking, groan 

 

Legs collapse, body reacts, flee 

Tears fall, I’m gasping, plea 

Death’s near, breathing fast, panic 

Touch nothing, I’m invisible, manic 

 

Help me, see me, distorted

Nobody comes, nothing helps, thwarted

Words dim, snot builds, peerless 

No light, no future, cheerless 

 

Cold settles, fingers pick, pain 

Lip bleeds, teeth gnaw, slain 

Nails bitten, fingers bloody, slow 

Anxiety driven, jitters inside, woah 

 

Calming down, heart slowing, free 

Thoughts clear, body listens, me 

Colours brighten, sounds appear, here 

Breathing again, death going, seer 

 

Legs standing, tears wiped, normal 

Feeling again, clean up, formal 

Mask up, perfectly pretend, fine 

Keep going, classes return, mine 

Time ticks, what next, hope 

Pleading inside, music loud, cope 

Hide away, feel shame, clash 

Anxiety builds, not again, crash

Anxiety No More?

Anxiety No More?

Sitting up late at night, wandering about in my head 

What would life be without my anxiety, would it be free of dread? 

Would I never overthink the things I had said? 

Would I be able to stay in those rooms from which I’d fled?

 

Could I go out into the world and be free? 

Could I go anywhere and not fall down mentally? 

Would I not have a nagging voice choking me? 

Is this what life would be like without my anxiety? 

 

Would I be able to speak to all kinds of folk?
And never upon my words would I choke? 

Would I have the guts in those classes to have spoke? 

Would I crack with my friends a really bad joke? 

 

Would I walk down a street, tall and proud? 

Would I finally be free of this darkened shroud? 

Would I speak freely to a stranger filled crowd? 

Could I stop my head from being always bowed? 

 

Could I sing badly for all to hear? 

And not have my head filled with fear? 

Could I laugh with friends while they drink beer? 

And laugh with them when they at me jeer? 

 

Think of all the scary experiences I’d be all for! 

Think of the ways I could leap out my front door! 

Think of the love that could make my heart sore! 

Think of the new people I could adore! 

There’s so many things I would do more 

If only my anxiety wasn’t such a bore

World

World

Sometimes I feel like I am powerless in the world I live 

Like there’s simply too much on in my head, so much noise 

Like everyone around me, takes from me, more than I can give 

Like within this world, to them my emotions are simply toys 

 

I feel trapped in this world so often I am no longer scared by it 

I’ve never really fitted in, been accepted by the ones I love much

I am always humming with anxieties hidden behind smiles and a quick wit

I know not a place where pain isn’t so strong it takes my breath, with a single touch

 

I often feel like I am not being myself but yet I don’t know who I am 

I lock myself away behind walls so tall I can no longer find the light 

Yet my feelings boil and simmer till they knock down my walls with a tiny slam

And then the protection I cling to, is gone, torn away and I am left alone to fight 

 

I do try to raise my voice, to silence her voice and keep myself sane 

I do try to be better, to be organised, to be “on it” and to keep myself alive 

I do try to eat enough, to worry little, to be brave and to keep myself from pain 

But no matter how many lists, ticks and grades, I never seem to ever thrive

 

I keep myself wrapped in mystery, not open but yet not closed 

I am fearful of forgetting something or letting myself go 

I never am at peace but I always try to stay coldly composed 

I try to keep the time from running away or going too slow 

 

Sometimes I feel like i am powerless in the world I live

Like there’s too much around for me to take in 

Like everything around me syphons from me, anything I can give 

Because I spend all my time in my darkened head, trying to fight a war, I’ll never win

Coming Clean

Coming Clean

When I came clean to you that day, you stood unshaken 

You told me it was all ok, that my trust in you wasn’t mistaken 

I felt a weight lift off my chest, felt the water drowning me clear 

I rose towards the surface, to look at this new world without fear 

 

For you see, I had panicked over how to tell you 

Wondered whether it was needed, if I could emotionally see it through 

I spent hours typing out the words I wanted to say 

I had to make it perfect for I was nervous you would run away 

 

You didn’t run though, you were a breath of fresh air 

Grounding me in a new reality, one that’s full of kindness and care 

You messaged back within minutes, you respected my worries 

You thanked me for trusting you, oh my tears came in flurries 

 

After we spoke, I didn’t overthink or sit in a stress induced fret 

I walked into uni the following day feeling like my fears weren’t a threat 

I laughed with you all day and felt so utterly free 

Like the world you introduced me to, was mine to experience and see 

 

But then came tutors that I didn’t know

I was trapped, I was cornered, they triggered me badly and so 

I sunk inside myself, I tried desperately to hide 

I thought nobody could see that my words had died 

 

But like an angel, a fairy godmother or star 

You noticed my brain had wandered too far 

You stole me back from the inside of my head 

You stopped my panic from taking me to the land of the dead 

 

You knew somehow I wasn’t alright 

You tried to pause my body's response to take flight 

Yet I dissociated to a point where I couldn’t engage with you 

But you kept on going, kept quietly showing me cute distractions too  

 

You kept on going until my head knew I was safe and here

You showed me pictures of ducklings, you stayed near 

You knew that I needed help when I couldn't even speak 

How did you do that? You made my world less bleak 

 

So now I trust you, really trust you on levels unknown 

I hope my confidence in relationships will continue to grow 

If I hadn’t give you the information that you did need

I wouldn’t have met someone who wants me to succeed 

 

So I’m proud of the fact I reach out 

That I fought through the triggers, panic and doubt 

Because had I stayed silent all this time and done what my trauma cried 

I wouldn’t have you, supporting me and standing by my side 

 

Thank you for letting me come clean 

For respecting me as a human, as an anxious bean 

I’m grateful to have a tutor like you 

And I know you will change more students lives in the future too

Autistically Me

©2022 by Elizabeth Woolley

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