Trauma Poems

Below are a collection of trauma themed poems.

Truth be told

Truth be told, I hate myself for what you did

Truth be told, I hate you for what you have done

Truth be told, I hate the silence that my brain forbid

Truth be told I hate that you took away the fun

Truth be told I hate your for the fear

Truth be told I hate you for our almost kid

Truth be told I hate you for making me think I wasn’t clear

Truth be told I hate that you to your own truth did bid

For I have never felt so scared as I do now

Scared to let anyone in, to trust again

Scared to let my guard down

Scared to let in the emotional pain

You stole a part of me that night

You forced me to wake up and see the hurtful truth

You realise when you made your choice, you set my dignity alight?

And in some crooked way, you stole what was left of my youth

You never face the repercussions of your action

You left that to me to fight alone

For truth be told, you never saw my pain filled reaction

You left me feeling numb to the bone

Truth be told, I hate you for what the words left unspoken

Truth be told, I hate you for everything you have done

Truth be told I hate that you left me broken

But truth be told you have not won!

Lost in The Darkness

My (Are They Real) Needs?

Do I need to know my future to survive?
Do I need to know if I am autistic to thrive?

Do I need to know I’ll be loved to try again?

Do I need to know my future as the what, where and when?

Do I need to be believed to be heard?
Do I need to be free as a bird?

Do I need to be something other than me?

Hope in the dark

Lost In The Darkness

I miss him

I miss the way he made me laugh

The way he gave freedom to my heart

I miss the way he made me feel safe

The way he just got me like no other.

I miss the way he would hold me close

The way he’d whisper soft things into my sleepy ears

I miss him so much it hurts

But he’s gone

I need him

I need him to keep my head from running away

To keep me grounded. Here

I need him to keep my anxious thoughts away

To keep saying things will be ok, even when they’re not

I need him to be here, to be ok with the pain I inflicted

To keep telling me he needs me too

I need him to keep me calm

But he’s gone

I want him

I want to feel his arms around me,

As he pulls me in

I want to hear him singing in the shower

As he belts out tunes he loves

I want to hear his laugh

As it echoes through the entire flat

I want him in my life

But he’s gone

I hate him

I hate that he’s too nice

That he’s run away with my heart

I hate that he won’t speak to me

That he’s run away with my hope

I hate that he’s perfect

That he’s run away with my love

I want to hate him

But I can’t

I love him

I love the way he made me feel so safe

That he didn’t care I was broken

I love the way his eyes lit up as he smiled

That he would always smile when I was there

I love the way he held me as I broke

That he never judged, just accepted

I love him

But he’s gone

I love him so much I wonder if I can hold my broken heart together

The heart he broke but that I gave him willingly

I love him so much my life seems incomplete without him it in

The life we used to share but that I destroyed

I love him so much I hate myself for it

For I’m the reason he’s gone

I’ve lost him forever

Hope In The Dark

When the dark crashes down

When pain captures your heart

When life seems too tough to bare

Just breathe

When friends leave

When people laugh

When everyone’s gone

I will be there

When hope seems impossible

When the world is cold and dark

When winters icy grip tightens

Just breathe

When nobody hears your call

When you feel invisible

When they hurt you back

I will be there

When nothing seems good enough

When the world turns against you

When all you want is peace

Just breathe

And I will be there

Paranoia

You’ve filled me with fear, from head to toe

It tricked in slowly, like the sleet before the snow

You made me feel less than you and for what?

Because I am neurodiverse? You need to grow up (a lot!)

Being different doesn’t make me weak

But anger and destruction you seem to seek

I don’t know what I did to cause you to hurt

But I will stand up to your tongue lashing, I know my worth

You’ve made me feel small and shy

It comes on suddenly, with tears in my eye

You made me feel worthless but why?

You are no different than I

You’ve taken enough, hurt me deep

And I swore I would not cry and weep

But despite my efforts, today I broke

All it took was a movement class for my fears to choke

Suddenly I was worried you were there

Scared you would come and pretend to care

That you would lead me on down a road of false hope

And then hang me by your deathly rope

You have filled me with doubt from head to toe

It comes in fast like the melting snow

You’ve made me want to lash out, for I set the seed

But you get to watch and enjoy as I bleed

So I suffer in silence, afraid tutors will hurt me

But these new ones sit on the floor and give me tea!

Yet I worry all the time they will turn on me like you

That they will start to think I am annoying too

Between you and Sara, tutors seem bad

And your influence on my thoughts makes me sad

I shouldn’t have to spent my life living in fear

I should trust people will stay when I am near

But because of you both my trauma runs strong

I sit and I worry that my hope in them will be wrong

So I’m taking a step forward, trying to move away

I just pray that my faith in myself, in these new people, will not be broken in the same way

Paranoia

Not Yours Anymore

Not yours anymore

I’m not yours anymore

But oh, what did I do to you this time?

Do you like it when I sob and cry?

You try to rule over what is rightfully mine

So I will respectfully say goodbye

What, no who, told you you deserve power?

When did your ego become almighty?

You’re a storm nobody can withstand, no lighthouse, no castle, no tower

And despite what you think, you’re not my aphrodite

You never were.

You never will be

I’m not yours anymore.